Don't...

Don't judge me. 

Don't judge my parenting.

Don't judge my child.

You aren't there when our five year old is sweet as can be one moment and in a pile on the floor the next.  You aren't there to see him fighting emotions he doesn't understand. You don't see the fear in his eyes when we raise our voice. You don't see that we discipline him more than anything else. You don't see him spending extended periods of time in his room, in timeout.  You don't see him laugh at us when disciplined. You don't hear him say he doesn't know why he does the things he does. 

You don't see the good times he has. You don't see him play nicely with his brother. You don't see him snuggle with his parents every night. You don't see him cry because his best friend told him he's a bad person. You don't see him ask for more housework to help his mom. You don't see the love in his eyes as he helps his brother accomplish something new. 

You aren't the parent who cries for their child to fit in. You aren't lying awake at night wondering what you did wrong or if your child will grow up to hate you. You don't see the fight it causes between parents. You aren't holding the door closed so he stays in timeout. You aren't the one walking away for the sanity and safety of all involved. You're not the one longing for someone to understand, to feel like you fit in, to feel supported. 

So unless you are living in our house, spending time with my child daily, and living our struggle, just don't.